Need help? Ask for it.
This week's topic: The underappreciated power of asking for help.
I recently read Wayne Baker's book, “All You Have to Do Is Ask: How to Master the Most Important Skill for Success”, which opened my eyes to the power of asking for help in ways I had not previously considered.
Inspired by the book, I started to assess where I might be in need of support that was just arm’s length away.
I found myself reevaluating my day-to-day activities and realizing how much better or more efficient things could have been if I had just asked for a bit more support.
Have you considered how comfortable you feel asking for help at work, and what could make it easier for you?
Let’s examine some strategies for incorporating the “it’s okay to ask for help” concept into your work life.
Embrace the Giver, Taker, Matcher Dynamic
In the workplace (and within the book), we can lump people into three categories: givers, takers, and matchers.
Givers are those who help others without expecting anything in return. They contribute to the team, share knowledge, and offer support freely.
Takers aim to get as much as possible from others while giving little in return. While this approach may appear successful in the short term, it can harm team morale and trust.
Matchers strive for a balance of give and take. They help others but expect help in return, aiming to maintain a fair exchange.
Recognizing these dynamics helps you understand your behavior and that of your colleagues.
Why It's Beneficial to Learn and Adopt the Giver/Taker/Matcher Concept
Enhances Team Collaboration - Understanding these dynamics allows you to foster a culture of mutual support and collaboration.
For example, when team members see that givers are appreciated and recognized, they are more likely to adopt similar behaviors, leading to a more supportive team environment.
Builds Trust - Recognizing and encouraging giving behavior can build stronger, more trusting relationships.
When givers share knowledge freely, it reduces suspicion and competition among team members, fostering a sense of trust and reliability.
Improves Self-Awareness - Knowing where you and your colleagues fall on the giver-taker spectrum can help you manage interactions more effectively.
Understanding that a colleague is a taker might prompt you to set more explicit boundaries, while recognizing a matcher can help you ensure a fair exchange of support.
You can create a more supportive and collaborative workplace by understanding and leveraging these dynamics.
Implementing Practical Help-seeking Strategies
The second part of expanding your (and your team’s) comfort with asking for help is creating a few strategies to get there.
Here are a few specific ideas on how you can implement these strategies today:
Create Help-Seeking Systems - Set up systems that make it easy for employees to ask for help.
Use anonymous suggestion boxes, dedicated communication channels, or regular check-in meetings where team members can voice their needs.
As some people may not immediately feel comfortable being open about struggles, you can aggregate the ideas and, if it makes sense, discuss how to work through them with the team without citing individuals.
Organize Reciprocity Rings - Hold regular Reciprocity Ring sessions where team members can request and offer support.
This structured approach makes asking for help normal and highlights the collective resources available within the team.
Here’s a link for more on reciprocity rings.
Feedback Loops - Create ways to assess and improve the culture of trust and reciprocity continually.
Ask for feedback on how comfortable employees feel asking for help and identify any barriers.
Similar to the other two options, a feedback loop, in this sense, is less anonymous and more intended to be direct feedback between people/teams.
I am a big fan of documenting these along the way and tracking the nature of feedback to see if the trends are moving in a positive direction as change occurs.
Final Thoughts
We have all gone through life and career stages where we don’t have the guts to ask for help. Maybe we’re too proud; perhaps we don’t feel like it’s acceptable for some reason.
Growing starts with learning more about people dynamics (at work or in your personal life) and developing strategies to increase your comfort levels.
I firmly believe that actual growth can come once we understand that accepting help is okay.
I hope these strategies will help you professionally and personally in your daily life.
Are you interested in chatting more about this topic?
Please shoot me a message, and let’s talk about the product.